Announcement time!!!!

Hey everyone! I'm finally announcing it! The doctor believes we are in the clear for miscarriages! Yay! I've written a couple of posts and have kept them secret until now. Check them out! Also, check out our coordinating Halloween outfits!

Happy Halloween!

Finally!

Today (17 Oct 2013) I am FINALLY in my second trimester! That could not have come quick enough. The constant state of being nauseated was wearing on me. Never puking.... not really, but always feeling like I had to. Ugh! So glad that is coming to end. I still get a wave of nausea from time to time, but nothing like it was. I'm still pretty tired, but at least I'm starting to get some energy back. I still need a bit of a nap when I get home from work, or I just can't function the rest of the night. I'm also starting to exercise again. Though that is hard to get back into the habit of doing. I am having a hard time getting motivated to get to the gym. I used to run, but it's starting to get too cold for that outside. Not to mention my knees can't take the hard surfaces as much anymore. I'm going to start swimming once I get even more energy back... hopefully.

I'm starting to get a baby bump. I don't fit into my regular pants anymore, but I definitely am too small for my maternity clothes. But there's really two reasons for that. 1) I'm about 30 pounds and about 3.5 sizes smaller than I was when I was pregnant with Autumn and 2) It's still just too early, and I don't have that much of a bump yet. But being smaller than i was when I started with Autumn means I get to go shopping!!!!!! I mean my shirts will be fairly ok for the most part, but the pants... yup that's right!! Shopping! I'm excited! Though I think dresses and maxi skirts will be my friend!

We could possibly learn the gender next week... doubt it... but maybe... You can't be 100% sure at 14 weeks because girl genitalia looks swollen and as big as boy genitalia. So... yeah... I don't think they will tell me one way or another, but we are seriously getting really, really close to finding out and that's very exciting! I'm really hoping for a boy. I would really like to have one of each, but I think regardless we will be done after this. Being pregnant is VERY hard for me. I mean, I don't have hard pregnancies, and I'm not really a wimp, but it's been difficult. I have been very stressed about my glucose levels. It's amazing how my glucose levels affected my mood and the way the I felt. When I was stable, but at a lower level, I felt sick. When I was ridiculously high and couldn't come down, I felt sick. I only felt okish when I was a bit higher than I would like to have been. But I have been doing really well regardless of me stressing. My last A1C came in at a 5.5! That's a normal person's glucose levels! Please! There are type 1ers and Type 2s that can't get their A1Cs below 6, so I'm doing freaking fantastic! I plan to keep that up, as well as not gaining too much weight.

Yes, I'm concerned about weight. As I should be. The heavier I am, the more insulin resistant I am. I like the amount of insulin that I was using pre-pregnancy. It wasn't very much and I was using it very effectively and efficiently. There are diabetics that use 8 times as much as I do in one day. RIDICULOUS! But anyway, I don't want to gain any weight other than baby weight so I can get back to pre-pregnancy weight as soon as possible. I want to be able to feel good about myself and my health. So yeah, I'm a bit obsessed about my weight.

Anyway, more pregnancy posts to come.

Week 11

02 Oct 2013

So I'm going to try to write a bit more since I am pregnant. No guarantees though. Super busy these days. School has started and we are in the final stretch! We're almost half way through Rob's second to last semester!!!!! Hallelujah! Can I get an Amen!? Oh seriously, May canNOT come fast enough! I'm so ready for him to be done, and have a really big boy job! That would be the day right!?

Anyway, so the last couple of weeks have been R-O-U-G-H, rough. I have been absolutely exhausted and sick almost 24/7! I mean it has been ridiculous! Get up, go to work, come home, try to stay awake until I put Autumn down to bed, lay in bed feeling absolutely sick, and hope to fall asleep before 10 pm.... It doesn't seem like much, but it has been exhausting. I haven't worked out in probably 2 weeks and it is KILLING me! Running makes me feel absolutely wonderful. Running and I have a love-hate relationship. Running makes me love myself and who I am, but I sure hate running! I hate sweating and the hard impact on my knees. Anyway, that aside, I miss working out, even if it is on a machine at the gym.

My pants are already no longer fitting. I got myself a baby bump band thing to help hold up my pants. I haven't pulled out my maternity pants yet because I'm a little afraid that may not fit because I was a whopping 30 pounds heavier at the beginning of my pregnancy with Autumn. I simply don't think they will fit. I'm waiting until I am bigger just to make sure before I go and spend money on clothes that I don't need. Especially since we are a bit tight now that Rob is in school. (Seriously, he needs to be done!) But we will soldier on and make things work.

I had my second checkup yesterday. The midwife that was checking up on me before the doctor came in couldn't find the baby's heartbeat with the little (for the lack of a better word) microphone ultrasound thing. Cue the stress. So we went down the hall to the ultrasound just to be sure. And there it was in all of its glory, waving at me with a little heart beat! *Phew* Then my doctor came in. Seriously, I like this one. I know I have always said that I would never go with a male doctor for ... you know... the girly things, but man! This doctor sure has me reassured and calmed then when I was seeing midwives with Autumn. And what's great is that he sees me as knowledgeable and capable of taking care of myself (as far as diabetes is concerned) that he's just kind of watching me rather than treating me like I'm a fragile freak of nature that needs 24/7 monitoring. I was a little afraid of getting a doctor like that. But I was afraid that he would be more hand off than I would like. But that's not the case either. He listens to me vent about things that are totally common and doesn't roll his eyes at me and tries to rush out of the appointments. So all in all, this guy is great! I am seriously happy to have him as my doctor.

So Dr. J came in and took one look at the ultrasound and said, "Well it looks like you're going to be pregnant for a while!" While that was not only funny to me, it was also very reassuring as I have had a higher risk of a miscarriage. Though we are still not going to publicly announce until the end of the month I think. I mean it is Halloween and there are a ton of ideas of announcing Halloween style.... so That is in the works. Anyway, so Dr. J informs me that it is time for my 24-hour urine collection.... YAY! So I got that completed today.... Man I'm not sure if it is a combination of being pregnant and diabetic, but I did not know that a person can pee over 3 liters in 24 hours! I mean seriously! 3 liters! That was probably TMI, but that is what my life is.... constantly in the bathroom. Sometimes I think, "Seriously! I cannot possibly be peeing again! I peed an hour ago!" YAY double whammy!

Anyway, I'm gonna keep soldering on here! 2 more weeks until I am officially in my 2nd trimester! Oh goodness it cannot come soon enough!

Then there were four...

So, it's taken about 3 months, but I am officially preggers. I was seriously starting to get worried.... and before you think I'm a silly girl for thinking that it shouldn't have taken that long, you should know all Rob had to do last time was look at me funny and I was pregnant with Autumn. Seriously, we hardly even tried. But this time we tried for 3 months.

See part of the reason I was getting worried was I thought I had scar tissue that was preventing me from getting pregnant. Exactly one week after having Autumn, I was back in the hospital with not one, not two, but three infections; Kidney, Uteran, and Urinary tract. They thought about doing a procedure called a DNC that would have cleaned the uteran wall, but they never did. After talking to a co-worker who had a similar experience, I was seriously afraid that was going to keep me from getting pregnant. But alas I was wrong and I'm so glad that I was.

So yeah, we're not telling anyone at this point. I'm still at too high of a risk of losing the baby. I mean we only found out on Thursday (08/15/2013), and even then the stripe on the test to indicate that I am pregnant was barely there and then faded. I was very concerned the test lied to me, but here I am a week late and still no sign of mother nature making her monthly call! Hallelujah!

I find it interesting that the two months that I couldn't get pregnant, I wasn't really exercising and I wasn't really eating well either. So by the time my second period hit I really wanted to go to a doctor, but I knew that if I went to the doctor without really being on top of my diabetes, the doctor would scoff at me, tell me to be better and THEN if I still wasn't getting pregnant, to go see him. So I decided to put that to the test first. I started exercising at least 3 times a week. I'm now up to everyday except Sunday. I feel so healthy and blood sugar number have never been better. I wouldn't be surprised if my AIC went back down to 5.7 the next time I get tested.

But yeah, Rob and I are SUPER excited. This has been a long time coming, but we feel that everything is finally just right to have another baby. Whether or not we have more after this depends on a lot. This pregnancy will play a huge roll for sure. It's like we are pregnant with our first again. It's been so long and now I have Type 1 Diabetes. It's not just gestational diabetes. It's going to be fairly difficult I fear. But I will do my best to stay on top of it. But we are super excited! It's been a long time coming and I'm just glad it's here!

A month of Anniversaries

Oh goodness... It's been a while. A loooong while as a matter of fact. But boy, have I been busy. This month I have had 3 separate, non-related anniversaries. 1) I have now worked with Watson for 3 years. I can't believe that I have been there for 3 whole years. 2) My 4 year anniversary with Rob. I can't believe that we've been married for 4 years. Blows my mind that time has gone by so quickly. Last but certainly not least, 3) Today marks my one year anniversary as a diabetic. One year ago today, I went for a simple glucose test, scoffing at the doctor for thinking that I could be diabetic. One year ago today, my life changed... completely. I changed my whole outlook on life, my relationships, my attitude about my body, etc.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately as today approached. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I think I would still take being diabetic. It has changed me, and to quote a coworker, "it hasn't been for the worse". It's made me think about a LOT of different things. About my body, about being healthy, about my career, about my education, about everything. It's made me realize that I want to go back to school for some kind of engineering degree eventually. I'm not sure which engineering. I can't make my mind up! I've only recently realized that I have an engineering brain. It's in part due to that too smart of a husband I have. But I'm leaning toward biomedical. I want to be able to help develop devices that would make diabetics lives easier. But maybe Mechanical engineering would be a better fit... I'm not sure, I'm just excited that I finally feel like I have found a niche that I fit in.

My relationship with Rob has definitely become stronger. I've learned to depend on him more for emotional strength as well as some of my physical needs. I'm certainly glad that I have had him by my side this last year. I'm not sure that I would have gotten through it at all.

I'm also grateful that I finally have gotten a new outlook on my body and my health. I have not been the healthiest person growing up or the last few years. But after getting this, I have learned a lot about how to take care of myself, especially how simple it is to take care of myself. It's tough some times to get out and run, but it's so worth it. I feel the difference from when I'm not running and when I am. I've only gotten back into running after taking about a month and half off. The difference is astronomical. When I wasn't running, my body became insulin resistant to the point where my A1C crept back up to 6.0. I mean that's not bad, but I want my A1C to be under 6. If I can keep it between 5.5 and 5.9 that would be ideal. As I have picked up running again, my number rarely get above 150, and that's when I splurge! It makes so happy.

But anyway, looking back on this year, I have stabbed myself a ton over this last year, but I have been blessed. Blessed from my change in outlook to my amazing medical benefits. It's been a long road to get to this point, but I have made it a year. It's been rough, but worth it. Stay healthy my friends!

All pumped up!

It's here! I'm so stoked!!! oh my goodness just look at this beauty! The first touch screen, consumer driven insulin pump on the market! I've only had this since Thursday and I already have seen and feel the difference! I'm understanding things so much better. I though insulin worked for only 2 hours.... I was so very wrong. My insulin works for about 3 hours. So when I check my blood sugar after about 2 hours and I'm already at 70, I can check my pump to see how much more insulin I have that will continue to work. So I can determine if I need something or if I need to just leave it alone. It's amazing!

So you can see the tubing that comes out of it in the above picture. It connects to a device on my stomach or wherever I place it. The insulin stays in the tube and the pump delivers micro doses every hour as a basal rate so that my blood sugars stay under control. So here's the device:

I cannot for the life of me get this to stand up.... It's right in the file that I saved, but whatever... anyway so the little triangle device is the cannula that sits there for 3 days. Then there is the tubing that reaches about 18". Which is perfect. Not too long and not too short... anyway It took me about 30 minutes the first time to put that in. The device just seemed so unnecessarily aggressive. They had me practice on a pillow first and it would snap, and snap so loudly I thought that if I had tried it on myself that I would bleed and never stop. So It took me about 30 minutes to convince myself to do it to myself. Then when I finally got the courage, it just didn't go. I tried and tried and tried until "POP"! It snapped and it was in. I felt so embarrassed  The dietitian and the representative were sitting there coaching me on and stroking me to try to calm me down. And then when it went in... it didn't even hurt and it was over! Oh how embarrassing! A grown woman that has been sticking herself with needles for the last 9 months can't get over her needle phobia to do something that didn't  even hurt! Oh well... it's all in and I survived my first change and my blood sugars are so much better controlled. Anyway YAY! this is gonna be so awesome!

An Abundance of Blessings

So I realize that it has been an extremely long time since I last wrote. Mainly because I have had some good news that I have been waiting to share, but I can't hold it in any longer...

No I'm not pregnant... yet... that's for much later and for me to know when and for you all to find out! :)

But, I went to my endocrinologist back in February and got approved to go on an insulin pump! This is a huge relief, as I hate needles and poking myself in the stomach 5-6 times a day was starting to wear on me. Especially since it seems like the nerves in my stomach have gotten significantly more sensitive lately. I can hardly find a spot on my stomach that doesn't hurt when I give myself insulin.

Anyway, so after I got the go ahead I did some research, talked with my diabetes educator, and finally narrowed it down to two choices. So I began to call around to try to get price quotes and I could not get a hold of anyone. I couldn't get a hold of my pharmacist, a new pharmacist, ... anyone. It was a VERY frustrating 4 days. Finally I was told that I would have to contact the manufacturer of a specific pump directly to get a price quote. So I filled out the paper work and faxed it over (that was the first fax I ever sent... usually I send pdf scans in an email). Anyway, I was a little afraid that they didn't get my information and that I had sent it to the wrong number. So after about two hours, I called them up to make sure that they had received it. The guy was super nice and said that he would call me back in 20 minutes after he went looking for it instead of keeping me on hold.

Not even 5 minutes later, I get a phone call from a sales rep and I was quite honestly a little afraid. I didn't want to get pushed into a pump I could afford, or that I would be making a ton of payments on. At any rate, we started to talk about insurance and all of that wonderful red tape. (side note: I have incredible insurance... so incredible in fact, that if I had gotten a pump in network it would have been free... in-network pumps are pumps that they have contracts with the manufacturers to bring the cost down so they will cover it fully... of course you may have already known that... but to those that are still young enough to not know how insurance works... there you go). She informed me that the pump was out-of-network, and that I had wonderful insurance. Then she said, "Actually, since we are trying to get a client base, we are going to be giving you the pump for your in-network price". I just about cried. I was just informed that my pump was not going to cost me a dime. The monthly supplies are a different issue, but the $4500 pump will not cost me a single penny. By the time I had gotten this answer, I was seriously about to give up, thinking it was sign that I shouldn't get a pump just yet. That it wouldn't be worth it. It would be more money down the drain, something we simply could not have afforded. But then, this happened, and I felt at peace and I was overwhelmed that I had been given this opportunity.

Now this pump is called the T:slim. It's awesome! It's the first touch screen insulin pump on the market and holy crap it's amazing. This thing doesn't look or interact like other pumps. It's much more user friendly and it has a rechargeable battery. Seriously, this is some sophisticated medical equipment for a diabetic. It was designed to adapt more into today's world and devices. It was consumer driven. I'm excited to get it tomorrow.

So that is one of many blessings that have happened over the last little while. So I've been to Disneyland for the first time. And while my first experience was much different than it would have been if I had gone for the first time without a kid, it was still remarkable. I now have high expectations for Rob to get a job at Disney, as an imagineer. I can't believe that we were blessed to be able to freely go to California and spend time with family. I mean, most people in our situations would not be able to have the means that we have had to do even half of the things we've done. I just feel so blessed.

Then there was the other day, when I was trying to fill some Insulin for the pump. I called up the pharmacy and was talking to them. I was totally expecting to have to pay around $80 for my insulin. That's at least what I did for the first time I filled insulin ever. Then, my pharmacist told me that I would have a $5 copay, but that he had a $25 coupon to cover the $5. I could hardly believe that I will not be paying an arm and a leg for insulin anymore. I realize just how lucky I am to have the most amazing insurance ever. People tell me about their insurance plans, how much they cost, their copays and deductibles, etc. and I am just appalled and humbled all at once. I feel so blessed to have the job that I do that provides Rob and I very comfortable lives as well as amazing insurance to get through this. I was freaking out so much when I first got diagnosed because insulin is not cheap. And I have only been blessed over and over and over. I truly believe that God does not give us more than we can handle. And while these last 8 or so months have been difficult, they have been made easier because of the abundance of blessings that has been poured over me.

And finally, work is a huge supporter of the March of Dimes. We do several different fundraisers throughout the first quarter to raise money for the babies. This year they held their 2nd annual "silent auction"... really more like a raffle. You buy tickets and put them into the buckets for the items you want. Then they draw a ticket for each bucket. Anyway, so they had two particular items that I wanted; a Kindle paperwhite and a Get-away trip to Park City. At the time I entered I though the Park City get-away was just a one night stay at a nice hotel, which is what I wanted. I wanted to get out of the city and just have a relaxing weekend. Well, I got a phone call on Monday morning, informing I had won the Park City get away... Needless to say I was ecstatic... However, what I did not realize is that the package included MUCH MUCH more than I had originally thought. Apparently, this was the prize to win. We won a two night stay at Hotel Park City in one of their executive suites, 2 Spa treatments (side note, I actually have never had a professional massage... so YAY!), and a $160 gift card to Ruth's Chris steakhouse... Now I didn't know what Ruth's Chris steakhouse was, but I was quickly informed that it is apparently a high end steakhouse with the most amazing meat one will ever taste.... So yeah, I think I have our anniversary covered.... Just saying...

Anyway, I feel like this could not have come at a better time. I feel blessed that I won and everything seems to be falling into place. I sure feel relief and like my burden are being lifted. What a wonderful feeling.

Now this post is not about bragging... just in case anyone was thinking that, but rather, it's an expression of gratitude to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with such richness in my life. I will post more hopefully tomorrow with pictures of me becoming into a slight robot. Until then, I hope that you all can find the small or large blessings in your life and may they make your day brighter.