So I have an endocrinologist appointment next month.and I'm REALLY hoping that I can get a pump. I unfortunately fear that I won't be able to. See my pancreas, after taking a 4 or 5 month hiatus, has decided that it was going to start working again. I have had sooooo many lows this last week. The carb to insulin ration has been correct and nothing has changed. So why on earth Pancreas!!!!??? What work now!!!??? Oh so frustrating. No, I'm not happy about it because I swing from being really low, to being really high... AND it means that I might not be able to get a pump that much longer... so yeah I'm ready for this pancreas to just die.... die, die, die!!!!!
So part of the reason swinging from one extreme to the other is so horrible other than the havoc it reeks on my body, the mood swings are SOOOO much worse. So let's exclude the fact that I'm female and tend to have mood swings anyway, the mood swings I experience because of unbalanced blood sugars is far worse. Seriously, one moment I'm happy, giddy, and flirting with Rob... and the next... Why the heck won't he leave me alone!? OR I'm playing with Autumn and really enjoying our time together and the next moment... Can't I just have one moment of PEACE!!?? Unprovoked! Just all of the sudden!!!!!
Stupid pancreas! Just die already!!! I hate that my moods are so dependent on my blood sugar levels. A pump would help keep me more regular. Also, I'll be able to wear a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) that will... well obviously continuously monitor my glucose levels and tell me when I'm starting to tank or that I'm starting to get too high. I can correct it immediately! My levels would be so much easier to maintain. And good grief! I need a break! Something has got to give. So please prayer that I can get a pump next month or a lot of reasons. More than I would like to share.
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