So this blog post goes out to my dear, sweet husband, Rob! Today was the day 4 years ago that he danced into my life and I have to say, I can't believe that I got so lucky. So why do I remember the day that we met? Well basically it's the day that we have both agreed upon that we started dating each other. After we met, we saw each other every day for the rest of the semester except for when he went to SLC for his grandma's funeral. While we weren't technically exclusive until after we had the DTR talk (define the relationship), we were definitely not seeing anybody else between the time we met to that talk.
I'm so grateful for the fateful night that brought him into my life. I still can't believe how forward I was when I met him. I mean seriously! What girl in their right mind would say, "Hey Sam, do you mind if I cut in? I think that he's pretty cute and would like to dance with him!" I still shudder sometimes at how ridiculous I was! I was just saying things and doing things left and right that I wouldn't have done in a MILLION years in front of a cute guy, and yet there I was just acting like a twitterpated 17 year old again! *plants face in palms* But hey! I got the guy! My saving grace? Letting him know that I was a huge fan of Stargate and that I knew about the Sci Fi channel and Sci Fi shows! I mean really... he thought he was marrying a nerd, but what he got instead was a horribly emotional girl with a lot of problems! Poor sucker!
But he has been my saving grace! He has been there for me for the good, the bad, and the Uuugly! Seriously! He put up with me when my hormones were CRAZY imbalanced and I was always annoyed at every little thing that he did. (btw-that isn't the case anymore. I noticed what was going on and I loved him that much that I knew I needed to remedy that quickly) He put up with me when I broke down and cried for hours after my diagnosis. He put up with my uuuugly crying when I thought for more than 3 days that we would possibly never have children again. He puts up with my crazy baby obsession and gently reminds me that we can't do it because my health is more important. He lets me be the independent woman that I am but is always there when I need a hug or I just need to cry. This man was a gift from God and I'm so incredibly blessed to have him in my life.
I'm grateful to this wonderful man who has supported and cared for me these last 4 years, but especially during the last 2 months. Going from a possible infertility issue to Type 1 diabetes, this man has only cared about me and how this will affect us going forward. He has made sure that I do everything that I need and he hasn't watched me stick myself with a disgusted look on his face, but rather watching to understand what I am going through. Rob has been a huge blessing in my life! I'm grateful to him and for the way that he enriches my life.
Here's to many, many more years to come. Rob I love you!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Divine Intervention
So I normally don't talk about my spiritual experiences, because they are mine. I treasure them. I made the mistake when I was younger to divulge some and it lead to me looking like a fool because what I thought were promptings, probably weren't really promptings... BUT lesson learned. And I don't share them with many people if I do at all. But this particular one saved my life and I'm so grateful. No really, it really did save my life.
So I was on my daily jog on Friday night. Granted it was a little later than I normally go running. I like to go run before the sun sets, so my jogs have been getting earlier which means dinner has been getting earlier... Anyway, Rob and I went out to dinner on Friday night. Usually when I eat out, my blood sugars tend to run higher than if I eat at home. I'm still getting a grasp on this whole carb counting thing and protein ratio etc. Anyway, I took the insulin that I thought would be enough just to keep me under 150.
So on my jogs I take Autumn in the jogging stroller for a few reasons. 1) I don't like running alone and since Rob won't go with me... and 2) it keeps me from having to go longer runs because the resistance makes me burn more calories. Awesome! Anyway, so I had Autumn with me and I was planning on doing my 1.8 mile jog and not my 1.1 mile jog. I was prepping for a 5K and wanted to make sure that I had the strength to do the whole thing.
Well there I was jogging and I had just gotten to the point where I can either turn and do just the 1.1 mile jog or I could have gone straight to do the 1.8 mile jog. Just then the thought came very loudly, "Turn! Turn now!" I thought it was me wimping out because it was a bit later than I usually run. But as I was just passing the street, the thought came even louder and said "Turn now!" So instead of questioning it this time, I turned around and slowed down to walk down the hill. (I don't like running down hills... bad on the knees). That's when I felt it. I was shaking and I was LOW! I called Rob to have him come pick me up. He brought me a piece of bread. I ate the bread slowly and weakly but ate it all before he had gotten Autumn and the stroller in the car. On the way home I started to feel like I could have finished that run. I felt like I did wimp out.
But then we got home. I tested my blood sugars. I was at 66 AFTER eating the bread! Who knows what I actually was BEFORE I ate the bread! Oh my goodness! (For those who don't know anything about blood sugar numbers-- anything below 70 is hypoglycemic and is INCREDIBLY dangerous because you can pass out.) SCARY! right!? The only reason I didn't realize I was low until after I stopped jogging and started walking was because I was not focused on how I felt, but rather just trying to make it to the end of the street.
So had I not heeded that prompting who knows what could have happened. But let's just speculate for a minute. Had I kept going, I could have passed out on the street in a part of the neighborhood where not a lot of cars drive past because it's in the corner. I had Autumn with me! I mean she would have started screaming eventually and hopefully neighbors would have been home. But let's not forget that I would have passed out on the street and taken a pretty good fall and would have been busted up pretty good. I can't help but feel like this prompting saved my life.
Since being diagnosed, I have had to rely on the Lord for a lot of strength. Like I have said before, I have felt the Lord's hand in my acceptance of this and giving me the strength to just make it day to day. It's been hard, but I know that I could not have done it without his strength lifting me up and helping me understand what's going on and how to help myself. I feel that my relationship with Him is growing everyday. I feel that because of that growing relationship I was ready and willing to hear that prompting that saved my life.
I know that I am not necessarily the most outspoken spiritual person, but I felt very strongly about writing about this. This is me being grateful for my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Him caring about me so much that he saved my life.
So I was on my daily jog on Friday night. Granted it was a little later than I normally go running. I like to go run before the sun sets, so my jogs have been getting earlier which means dinner has been getting earlier... Anyway, Rob and I went out to dinner on Friday night. Usually when I eat out, my blood sugars tend to run higher than if I eat at home. I'm still getting a grasp on this whole carb counting thing and protein ratio etc. Anyway, I took the insulin that I thought would be enough just to keep me under 150.
So on my jogs I take Autumn in the jogging stroller for a few reasons. 1) I don't like running alone and since Rob won't go with me... and 2) it keeps me from having to go longer runs because the resistance makes me burn more calories. Awesome! Anyway, so I had Autumn with me and I was planning on doing my 1.8 mile jog and not my 1.1 mile jog. I was prepping for a 5K and wanted to make sure that I had the strength to do the whole thing.
Well there I was jogging and I had just gotten to the point where I can either turn and do just the 1.1 mile jog or I could have gone straight to do the 1.8 mile jog. Just then the thought came very loudly, "Turn! Turn now!" I thought it was me wimping out because it was a bit later than I usually run. But as I was just passing the street, the thought came even louder and said "Turn now!" So instead of questioning it this time, I turned around and slowed down to walk down the hill. (I don't like running down hills... bad on the knees). That's when I felt it. I was shaking and I was LOW! I called Rob to have him come pick me up. He brought me a piece of bread. I ate the bread slowly and weakly but ate it all before he had gotten Autumn and the stroller in the car. On the way home I started to feel like I could have finished that run. I felt like I did wimp out.
But then we got home. I tested my blood sugars. I was at 66 AFTER eating the bread! Who knows what I actually was BEFORE I ate the bread! Oh my goodness! (For those who don't know anything about blood sugar numbers-- anything below 70 is hypoglycemic and is INCREDIBLY dangerous because you can pass out.) SCARY! right!? The only reason I didn't realize I was low until after I stopped jogging and started walking was because I was not focused on how I felt, but rather just trying to make it to the end of the street.
So had I not heeded that prompting who knows what could have happened. But let's just speculate for a minute. Had I kept going, I could have passed out on the street in a part of the neighborhood where not a lot of cars drive past because it's in the corner. I had Autumn with me! I mean she would have started screaming eventually and hopefully neighbors would have been home. But let's not forget that I would have passed out on the street and taken a pretty good fall and would have been busted up pretty good. I can't help but feel like this prompting saved my life.
Since being diagnosed, I have had to rely on the Lord for a lot of strength. Like I have said before, I have felt the Lord's hand in my acceptance of this and giving me the strength to just make it day to day. It's been hard, but I know that I could not have done it without his strength lifting me up and helping me understand what's going on and how to help myself. I feel that my relationship with Him is growing everyday. I feel that because of that growing relationship I was ready and willing to hear that prompting that saved my life.
I know that I am not necessarily the most outspoken spiritual person, but I felt very strongly about writing about this. This is me being grateful for my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Him caring about me so much that he saved my life.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Acceptance
I can't explain exactly how I feel-- it's very hard to put into words. This last month and half I guess it's like I have been holding on to this ball... a heavy medicine ball. On Monday, I don't know why or how it changed, but I feel like I'm not carrying it anymore. I also feel like I was carrying around a "I'm Diabetic" flashing sign above my head and now I feel like I'm only wearing a name tag. I can't explain how and why I feel like this switch has happened... it just has. And I am so grateful. This burden of being diabetic is really difficult to deal with, but now that I'm feeling more at ease about it, I feel like I can handle whatever is thrown my way.
In other words, I feel like I have accepted what's happened. I feel like I can move on. I am sure that I will have my good days and my bad days. Every diabetic does. My dietitians that have had diabetes for 20+ years have bad days. It's a difficult disease that can't be cured and can only be regulated by daily medicine... it's going to suck. But I feel so at peace with this. I can't explain what switched in me that allowed me come to this peace...
Personally, I feel an answer to my many prayers and many blessings that my dear husband has given me. I feel that Heavenly Father has blessed me with this acceptance so that I can focus on getting it under control and making those life changes without resenting what's going on. I feel He has freed me from my anger to help me figure out how to help myself and my family live healthy and to take care of my body.
A lot of my thoughts have lead me often to thought that our bodies are on loan from our Heavenly Father and we MUST take care of them. Think about it like this: If you leased a car, would you take care of it, or would you let it get gross and disgusting and try turning it in at the end of your lease? Would you do that!? NO! You would take care of it so that you don't have to pay for the damages incurred on the car. So then why, when we know that our bodies are on loan from Heavenly Father, would we not take care of the bodies that He so graciously gave us that we could live a mortal life? Doesn't make sense. This is where my thoughts have led me a lot lately. My body is on loan and this disease is making me live healthy and making me take care of my body. -- Not that I was actually not taking care of my body... I exercised and was trying to change my diet slowly to get my diet more balanced. I was on the right track. I lost 30 pounds... I was thinner and healthier than I was even in high school. I mean I'm wearing a size 6 jean! I have NEVER worn a size 6 jean! I can only remember ever wearing a size 10! That's 2 whole pant sizes smaller! So not only am I feeling better about my self image, but I'm healthier!
Anyway... enough with my bragging... (I totally think I deserve those bragging rights by the way... I worked hard for them... and I will continue to work hard to keep those rights). So the gist of this is that I have accepted that this is going to be good for me. It's going to force me to live the way that EVERYONE should live. I understand that it is hard. I have been there! I have been technically overweight by the BMI standards. This disease will not control me! I will control it! I'm grateful that when I'm 50 and possibly a grandmother that I will be healthy enough to travel and play with my grand-kids and that I won't be worn out. I'm grateful that I will be healthier than I have ever been because of this disease. Even if they find a cure in the next 5 years (highly unlikely by the way), I am determined to make these changes for life. I feel much better when I exercise and eat healthy. Try it! It's not fun at first, but I promise you once you get over that hard week, it's MUCH easier.
Acceptance! I finally have acceptance and peace!
In other words, I feel like I have accepted what's happened. I feel like I can move on. I am sure that I will have my good days and my bad days. Every diabetic does. My dietitians that have had diabetes for 20+ years have bad days. It's a difficult disease that can't be cured and can only be regulated by daily medicine... it's going to suck. But I feel so at peace with this. I can't explain what switched in me that allowed me come to this peace...
Personally, I feel an answer to my many prayers and many blessings that my dear husband has given me. I feel that Heavenly Father has blessed me with this acceptance so that I can focus on getting it under control and making those life changes without resenting what's going on. I feel He has freed me from my anger to help me figure out how to help myself and my family live healthy and to take care of my body.
A lot of my thoughts have lead me often to thought that our bodies are on loan from our Heavenly Father and we MUST take care of them. Think about it like this: If you leased a car, would you take care of it, or would you let it get gross and disgusting and try turning it in at the end of your lease? Would you do that!? NO! You would take care of it so that you don't have to pay for the damages incurred on the car. So then why, when we know that our bodies are on loan from Heavenly Father, would we not take care of the bodies that He so graciously gave us that we could live a mortal life? Doesn't make sense. This is where my thoughts have led me a lot lately. My body is on loan and this disease is making me live healthy and making me take care of my body. -- Not that I was actually not taking care of my body... I exercised and was trying to change my diet slowly to get my diet more balanced. I was on the right track. I lost 30 pounds... I was thinner and healthier than I was even in high school. I mean I'm wearing a size 6 jean! I have NEVER worn a size 6 jean! I can only remember ever wearing a size 10! That's 2 whole pant sizes smaller! So not only am I feeling better about my self image, but I'm healthier!
Anyway... enough with my bragging... (I totally think I deserve those bragging rights by the way... I worked hard for them... and I will continue to work hard to keep those rights). So the gist of this is that I have accepted that this is going to be good for me. It's going to force me to live the way that EVERYONE should live. I understand that it is hard. I have been there! I have been technically overweight by the BMI standards. This disease will not control me! I will control it! I'm grateful that when I'm 50 and possibly a grandmother that I will be healthy enough to travel and play with my grand-kids and that I won't be worn out. I'm grateful that I will be healthier than I have ever been because of this disease. Even if they find a cure in the next 5 years (highly unlikely by the way), I am determined to make these changes for life. I feel much better when I exercise and eat healthy. Try it! It's not fun at first, but I promise you once you get over that hard week, it's MUCH easier.
Acceptance! I finally have acceptance and peace!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Shoes
So I have been thinking a lot lately. I realized in the last few days that I have been scattered brained and haven't really taken time to deal with the diagnosis on a personal level. I've been dealing with the disease but not really trying to put it in my life as part of me.
My dad gave me some good advice: "Two days from now, you're still going to be diabetic." He's absolutely right. There's no changing what's happened to me. What's happened has happened and all I can do is push forward and try to deal with this.
Even though I will continue to be diabetic, I'm having to learn who I am with diabetes. I'm not saying that I'm different in my personality or who I am since being diagnosed. I am saying that this experience has changed how I look at things, how I feel about certain things, and how I react to things. etc.
I know my blog so far has been quite a bit of ranting mixed with recipes. But I did put a disclaimer in here. This blog is primarily for my therapeutic reasoning. It has been a rough month and a half since being diagnosed. I have good days and I have bad days. It's really hard to see things in a big scope sometimes. I have a lot of anger towards what's happened. I have anger to the lack of knowledge the general population has for Type 1 diabetes. There's a lot of anger, and being able to talk about it and rant about it has helped me tremendously. Ranting has allowed me to stay stable emotionally for the most part. I haven't spiraled into depression that most early diagnosed diabetics do. I do have bad days and I usually cry quite often, because this sucks. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this. And yet, here it is.
I finally understand how sick people feel, thinking "Why God!? Why me!?" I admit, I have felt like that from time to time. I don't know why Heavenly Father allowed this to happen. Maybe I am meant to support something. Maybe this will make me more sympathetic towards others. I don't know. I just have to keep telling myself that lesson that we learn early on about trials and tribulations. God doesn't give us any more than we can handle. It's harder some days to remember that than others. But I think that's part of dealing with the disease.
Someone at church today gave me encouraging words when I was talking about it. She said that it seemed like I am in a good place with handling it and that I have a good mindset. While I don't have everything figured out, I am dealing with this well. It's nice to know that people I don't really talk with everyday or every Sunday either, still cares to know how I am doing and how I am handling everything. It makes me feel that less alone.
Yesterday, Rob did something that he normally doesn't. I'm not the type of girl that likes things whispered in my ear. I can't deal with it. I feel silly and like I'm 13. That's usually the case. However, there are times that those sweet nothings are needed. Rob did just that yesterday. I was having a "I don't care if my blood sugar is high" kind of day. He came over to me and hugged me from behind and told me that I was a strong woman and that he loved me. In all of this I haven't felt very strong. In fact, I have felt weak. I have felt broken. In that moment, I looked past over the last month and a half and all that I have already overcome and all that I have kept normal and stable, all while trying to control and figure out my disease. I can't believe how well I have kept things from falling apart-- as well as myself. I mean, if anyone can place themselves in my shoes, I think you would have a new found respect for me. I found it yesterday as I took a step back to see exactly what I have been through. It's been really rough and holy crap! I would not wish this on anyone... even if I hated them. My life is not easy, but I love it and wouldn't have it any other way... well... I could do without the diabetes, but since I don't have a choice, I will embrace it.
So in order to deal with this appropriately, I'm taking the next couple of days to reflect on this and who I want to be and what I want to change in my personality and who I am to accommodate this disease. I don't want it to change my personality, but I think I want to change how I view charities and foundations as well as being an active part in those. I believe EVERY disease has the right for fundraising to find a cure. I also am finding myself wanting a support group. I have never ever liked these kind of things before. I have never wanted to go to a therapist to deal with depression related to hormonal depression. And yet, here I am thinking about support groups and/or a therapist to help me handle what I am going through. I think those kinds of changes in me is a good thing. It makes me feel more sympathetic to everyone. It makes me in a position where I am more readily able and willing to put myself in other people shoes and what they are going through.
I am sure there will be another post within the next couple of days as I am going to be thinking a LOT.
~Diabetes is an art, not a science~
My dad gave me some good advice: "Two days from now, you're still going to be diabetic." He's absolutely right. There's no changing what's happened to me. What's happened has happened and all I can do is push forward and try to deal with this.
Even though I will continue to be diabetic, I'm having to learn who I am with diabetes. I'm not saying that I'm different in my personality or who I am since being diagnosed. I am saying that this experience has changed how I look at things, how I feel about certain things, and how I react to things. etc.
I know my blog so far has been quite a bit of ranting mixed with recipes. But I did put a disclaimer in here. This blog is primarily for my therapeutic reasoning. It has been a rough month and a half since being diagnosed. I have good days and I have bad days. It's really hard to see things in a big scope sometimes. I have a lot of anger towards what's happened. I have anger to the lack of knowledge the general population has for Type 1 diabetes. There's a lot of anger, and being able to talk about it and rant about it has helped me tremendously. Ranting has allowed me to stay stable emotionally for the most part. I haven't spiraled into depression that most early diagnosed diabetics do. I do have bad days and I usually cry quite often, because this sucks. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this. And yet, here it is.
I finally understand how sick people feel, thinking "Why God!? Why me!?" I admit, I have felt like that from time to time. I don't know why Heavenly Father allowed this to happen. Maybe I am meant to support something. Maybe this will make me more sympathetic towards others. I don't know. I just have to keep telling myself that lesson that we learn early on about trials and tribulations. God doesn't give us any more than we can handle. It's harder some days to remember that than others. But I think that's part of dealing with the disease.
Someone at church today gave me encouraging words when I was talking about it. She said that it seemed like I am in a good place with handling it and that I have a good mindset. While I don't have everything figured out, I am dealing with this well. It's nice to know that people I don't really talk with everyday or every Sunday either, still cares to know how I am doing and how I am handling everything. It makes me feel that less alone.
Yesterday, Rob did something that he normally doesn't. I'm not the type of girl that likes things whispered in my ear. I can't deal with it. I feel silly and like I'm 13. That's usually the case. However, there are times that those sweet nothings are needed. Rob did just that yesterday. I was having a "I don't care if my blood sugar is high" kind of day. He came over to me and hugged me from behind and told me that I was a strong woman and that he loved me. In all of this I haven't felt very strong. In fact, I have felt weak. I have felt broken. In that moment, I looked past over the last month and a half and all that I have already overcome and all that I have kept normal and stable, all while trying to control and figure out my disease. I can't believe how well I have kept things from falling apart-- as well as myself. I mean, if anyone can place themselves in my shoes, I think you would have a new found respect for me. I found it yesterday as I took a step back to see exactly what I have been through. It's been really rough and holy crap! I would not wish this on anyone... even if I hated them. My life is not easy, but I love it and wouldn't have it any other way... well... I could do without the diabetes, but since I don't have a choice, I will embrace it.
So in order to deal with this appropriately, I'm taking the next couple of days to reflect on this and who I want to be and what I want to change in my personality and who I am to accommodate this disease. I don't want it to change my personality, but I think I want to change how I view charities and foundations as well as being an active part in those. I believe EVERY disease has the right for fundraising to find a cure. I also am finding myself wanting a support group. I have never ever liked these kind of things before. I have never wanted to go to a therapist to deal with depression related to hormonal depression. And yet, here I am thinking about support groups and/or a therapist to help me handle what I am going through. I think those kinds of changes in me is a good thing. It makes me feel more sympathetic to everyone. It makes me in a position where I am more readily able and willing to put myself in other people shoes and what they are going through.
I am sure there will be another post within the next couple of days as I am going to be thinking a LOT.
~Diabetes is an art, not a science~
Thursday, September 13, 2012
A Diabetic Civil War
So I have mentioned a bit about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. Anyway, I recently found this group in Salt Lake called, "My delinquent pancreas". I'm so excited to be part of this group. There are people just like me. They got diagnosed with Type 1 around the same age as me. Granted they have had it longer because they are older, but still, it's nice to not feel alone and that I'm not the only one this kind of thing can happen to. Really, I think that's the most depressing part of the last month and half. All of the people I know that have diabetes have type 2. Or if they have type 1, they got diagnosed when they were in the 5th grade. So you can see where I feel so alone in all of this. I'm not saying that I'm special or "woe is me", but this is a HUGE disease! It can be very scary at times and very lonely.
Anyway, way off topic and point of my post. This group has discussion pages, and I found one with an article that I rather enjoyed. It expresses what I feel to an extent. Here's the article:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-11-22/a-z/ct-met-diabetes-rift-20101122_1_diabetes-insulin-lifestyle-changes-and-medication
So while I resent Type 2 diabetes a little bit, I don't fully. My dad has Type 2 and it's been a struggle for him. But not from a lack of trying to diet and exercise. In fact, he's lost a LOT of weight. He just has trouble controlling it. The one thing that I don't think we give credit to Type 2 diabetics is that in some cases, it can be genetic. You have an increased risk to get Type 2 diabetes if someone in your family is diagnosed with it. BUT it can be controlled. If you diet and exercise you can control your blood sugars without the use of insulin or medication. This is what gets me.
There is a lack of education about diabetes. To be quite frank, it's quite frustrating having to explain what I have and what I have to do in order to stay alive over and over and over and over. Type 1 is in NO way like Type 2. Type 1, your body attacks your pancreas and kills the Beta cells that produce insulin. Your body is at war with itself by no fault of your own. It just happens! It's an autoimmune disease! It doesn't matter your starting weight, the amount of sugar you ate before hand, how active you are, etc. It doesn't matter. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen!
I got my blood test results back today. They found the antibody killing off my beta cells. The normal range for this antibody is 0-5. My result came back at 270. My own body is attacking itself! Can you feel my frustration?! I changed my diet, my lifestyle, all to avoid this... and look what happens... There was nothing I could have done.
But back to the civil war. When people hear that I have diabetes, they ask me if I can control it by diet and exercise. I have been ok with this for a long time and answering their questions, but really it's just getting more and more frustrating that no one knows, or cares to research/learn about the different types of diabetes. Type 2 gets all of the attention because it is the most prevalent kind of diabetes, but Type 1 gets ignored. In the article it says that the ratio for clinical studies for Type 2 versus Type 1 is about 5:1! It is absolutely devastating that no one seems to care about Type 1 diabetics. I mean no matter what I do, no matter what I eat, I will always be on insulin for the rest of my life. Also, I will only become more and more dependent on my insulin to keep me alive. I only can DREAM of controlling my diabetes with exercise and diet. I am dependent on taking shots 4 times a day so that my body will continue to do its thing.
I got a funny pamphlet today: Diabetes Etiquette for people who DON'T have diabetes:
http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/downloads/Etiquette-Card.pdf#zoom=100
Here's the link to the 10 things. I especially love number 5 because I have seen a lot of people do this even when I had gestational diabetes. Then there is number 2 and 7! LOVE these! Please don't think that I completely understand what's going on and that it's not hard work! I am having to deal with a whole different kind of diabetes this time around and I'm still learning. It is hard work! I have to remember my insulin, my meter, alcohol wipes, lancets, test strips, and needle heads when I head out anywhere. RIDICULOUS! I have to remember to brush my teeth after EVERY time I eat, wash my feet everyday, exercise most days. There's just a lot to this disease. I'm not saying it's as bad as cancer, but it's still bad. If I don't take care of myself, this disease will kill me. There's no "it might kill you" or "you could just loose a foot". It will kill me if I don't manage this disease. So please don't take it lighthearted or think that it's not as bad as other things.
Depression also hits pretty hard for Type 1 diabetics. It's already hit me. I have good days and I have bad days. Some diabetics get so depressed that they just don't want to deal with it anymore and stop taking insulin. So there you can see where things can turn bad. I have to be physically, emotionally, and mentally fit for this disease EVERY day. Tell me, could you do that? Could you, on a daily basis, continue to keep your body physically, emotionally and mentally fit for a disease you didn't have any say in getting every day white managing other day to day life things? It's hard!!!! Please have respect for us and stop ignoring the Type 1 Diabetics! We deserve as much attention as Type 2. It's sometimes very hard to gather any kind of information about Type 1 because of the amount of stuff out there for Type 2 diabetes. Please, please become aware of what diabetes and all of its heinous versions out there!
Anyway, way off topic and point of my post. This group has discussion pages, and I found one with an article that I rather enjoyed. It expresses what I feel to an extent. Here's the article:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-11-22/a-z/ct-met-diabetes-rift-20101122_1_diabetes-insulin-lifestyle-changes-and-medication
So while I resent Type 2 diabetes a little bit, I don't fully. My dad has Type 2 and it's been a struggle for him. But not from a lack of trying to diet and exercise. In fact, he's lost a LOT of weight. He just has trouble controlling it. The one thing that I don't think we give credit to Type 2 diabetics is that in some cases, it can be genetic. You have an increased risk to get Type 2 diabetes if someone in your family is diagnosed with it. BUT it can be controlled. If you diet and exercise you can control your blood sugars without the use of insulin or medication. This is what gets me.
There is a lack of education about diabetes. To be quite frank, it's quite frustrating having to explain what I have and what I have to do in order to stay alive over and over and over and over. Type 1 is in NO way like Type 2. Type 1, your body attacks your pancreas and kills the Beta cells that produce insulin. Your body is at war with itself by no fault of your own. It just happens! It's an autoimmune disease! It doesn't matter your starting weight, the amount of sugar you ate before hand, how active you are, etc. It doesn't matter. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen!
I got my blood test results back today. They found the antibody killing off my beta cells. The normal range for this antibody is 0-5. My result came back at 270. My own body is attacking itself! Can you feel my frustration?! I changed my diet, my lifestyle, all to avoid this... and look what happens... There was nothing I could have done.
But back to the civil war. When people hear that I have diabetes, they ask me if I can control it by diet and exercise. I have been ok with this for a long time and answering their questions, but really it's just getting more and more frustrating that no one knows, or cares to research/learn about the different types of diabetes. Type 2 gets all of the attention because it is the most prevalent kind of diabetes, but Type 1 gets ignored. In the article it says that the ratio for clinical studies for Type 2 versus Type 1 is about 5:1! It is absolutely devastating that no one seems to care about Type 1 diabetics. I mean no matter what I do, no matter what I eat, I will always be on insulin for the rest of my life. Also, I will only become more and more dependent on my insulin to keep me alive. I only can DREAM of controlling my diabetes with exercise and diet. I am dependent on taking shots 4 times a day so that my body will continue to do its thing.
I got a funny pamphlet today: Diabetes Etiquette for people who DON'T have diabetes:
http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/downloads/Etiquette-Card.pdf#zoom=100
Here's the link to the 10 things. I especially love number 5 because I have seen a lot of people do this even when I had gestational diabetes. Then there is number 2 and 7! LOVE these! Please don't think that I completely understand what's going on and that it's not hard work! I am having to deal with a whole different kind of diabetes this time around and I'm still learning. It is hard work! I have to remember my insulin, my meter, alcohol wipes, lancets, test strips, and needle heads when I head out anywhere. RIDICULOUS! I have to remember to brush my teeth after EVERY time I eat, wash my feet everyday, exercise most days. There's just a lot to this disease. I'm not saying it's as bad as cancer, but it's still bad. If I don't take care of myself, this disease will kill me. There's no "it might kill you" or "you could just loose a foot". It will kill me if I don't manage this disease. So please don't take it lighthearted or think that it's not as bad as other things.
Depression also hits pretty hard for Type 1 diabetics. It's already hit me. I have good days and I have bad days. Some diabetics get so depressed that they just don't want to deal with it anymore and stop taking insulin. So there you can see where things can turn bad. I have to be physically, emotionally, and mentally fit for this disease EVERY day. Tell me, could you do that? Could you, on a daily basis, continue to keep your body physically, emotionally and mentally fit for a disease you didn't have any say in getting every day white managing other day to day life things? It's hard!!!! Please have respect for us and stop ignoring the Type 1 Diabetics! We deserve as much attention as Type 2. It's sometimes very hard to gather any kind of information about Type 1 because of the amount of stuff out there for Type 2 diabetes. Please, please become aware of what diabetes and all of its heinous versions out there!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Parmesan Broiled Tilapia with Garlic Toast
Just as I have promised, a recipe blog. Better late than never. I made this last night and Rob, once again, LOVED this fish dish. His only complaint was that he wished that there was some kind of lemon sauce to go with it, but I'm not really good in that arena. I like cooking and baking, but alas, I'm not very good in the creative part of cooking. I have no idea where to start nor do I know much about bases and sauces and what not. I do like taking recipes and tweaking them to make them healthier. Which is exactly what this recipe is.
I had to tweak this recipe because of they high fat content. The original recipe came from this blog:
That's in case you don't care if you're meal is high in fat or not.
So here's mine out of the oven. DROOL!!!! So nummers!
And here it is all plated up. I know my pictures really don't do it justice, but I do not try to own up to being a photographer by any means and the only camera I have is my iPhone, so you'll just have to deal with it. As it is here's the recipe:
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
2 tbsp melted butter
4 tbsp greek yogurt
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp pepper
1/8 tsp onion powder
4 tilapia fillets from that Costco pack that I spoke of in my other recipe blog about t crispy fish and potatoes.
Preheat the broiler. Mix the cheese, butter, yogurt, lemon juice and seasonings in a small bowl. Arrange the filets in a single layer on the broiler pan. Broil a few inches from the broiler for 2-3 minutes. Flip the fillets and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Remove fillets from the oven and cover them in the Parmesan mixture on the top side. Broil for another 2 minutes or until the topping gets browned and the fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over or under cook the fish.
And there you have it! Super easy and super quick! Love it! I added broccoli to help balance the meal. The toast was to add carbs to the meal since I have to have 2-3 servings per meal. The garlic toast is pretty simple too. After the fish is done, put the toast on a tray and butter one side. Sprinkle with garlic powder. Put in the oven for 2 minutes. (I overcooked mine because I forgot to put a timer on it. That's why they are burnt). If you want both sides toasted, flip them and repeat. Super yummy!
Bon appetite!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Where are my keys!?
So the title doesn't have a direct correlation to my blog, but it will make sense by the end of this.
I stumbled across an article this morning. Anything that has "Blood Sugars" in the title I am immediately drawn to it. Not because I'm obsessed with my disease, but rather because I'm hoping that an article will appear about diabetes saying that they've cured it. That would be stinking awesome, but alas, there is still a ton of research needed on diabetes. Doctor's still don't know what triggers it, why it happens in children, what makes people produce antibodies that destroy the beta cells, etc. They just know it happens and how to control it. So a LOT of research still needs to be done. Though, they do have a better grasp on how Type 2 works. But totally off the point of this post.
This article:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57505671-10391704/even-high-normal-blood-sugar-levels-may-induce-brain-shrinkage/
Ok, so I have talked a bit about blood sugars and how I need to try my best to keep them in control. This article suggests that EVERYONE, not just those with diabetes, needs to do better at keeping their blood sugars under control. This article is very alarming and is just yet another reason why I need to keep my blood sugars under control.
It says that studies have shown a 6-10% shrink in people's brain areas that dementia and other memory loss areas are located. SCARY! I'm already bad as it is. I have hard times finding my keys, my meter, clothes, etc. I mean on top of all the other health issues involved with diabetes, this is like the icing on the cake. I could deal with a lost foot or even kidney failure or nerve damage, so long as there was a way for me to function still as a human being. But losing my mind, my memories, that I think scares me the most. I treasure my memories and treasure my thoughts. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person and everyone should treasure my memories and thoughts, but think about it. This is something that I don't think a lot of people think about. When you get old, do you want to remember all those wonderful memories of your children growing up? Your wedding day? The day you told your spouse you loved them? What about that first kiss? The time when you knew that man standing next to you was to be your eternal partner? I think that's what scares me the most. Losing all of those precious memories. Not being able to remember my life. Take my foot, take one of my kidneys, just not my memories.
Yes, I know it's a bit melodramatic, but if you had a disease that you have to learn to control in order for these things to not happen, don't you think you would feel the same way?
My point in all of this is this, it's just one more reason for me to continue to change my life now. Change the way I eat, the way I am active, the way I teach my children to eat better. This gives the encouragement to keep things under control. It is just yet another reason why it is soooo important that I don't let this disease control me, but I control it.
And here's a little something to scare all of you into doing the same: This article states that diabetes will most likely be the number 1 cause of death by 2030! That's only 18 years away. I've already lived that long! Think about that! Take care of your body! If not for yourself, for those that love you. There's my two cents worth on the subject.
Recipes to come!
I stumbled across an article this morning. Anything that has "Blood Sugars" in the title I am immediately drawn to it. Not because I'm obsessed with my disease, but rather because I'm hoping that an article will appear about diabetes saying that they've cured it. That would be stinking awesome, but alas, there is still a ton of research needed on diabetes. Doctor's still don't know what triggers it, why it happens in children, what makes people produce antibodies that destroy the beta cells, etc. They just know it happens and how to control it. So a LOT of research still needs to be done. Though, they do have a better grasp on how Type 2 works. But totally off the point of this post.
This article:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57505671-10391704/even-high-normal-blood-sugar-levels-may-induce-brain-shrinkage/
Ok, so I have talked a bit about blood sugars and how I need to try my best to keep them in control. This article suggests that EVERYONE, not just those with diabetes, needs to do better at keeping their blood sugars under control. This article is very alarming and is just yet another reason why I need to keep my blood sugars under control.
It says that studies have shown a 6-10% shrink in people's brain areas that dementia and other memory loss areas are located. SCARY! I'm already bad as it is. I have hard times finding my keys, my meter, clothes, etc. I mean on top of all the other health issues involved with diabetes, this is like the icing on the cake. I could deal with a lost foot or even kidney failure or nerve damage, so long as there was a way for me to function still as a human being. But losing my mind, my memories, that I think scares me the most. I treasure my memories and treasure my thoughts. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person and everyone should treasure my memories and thoughts, but think about it. This is something that I don't think a lot of people think about. When you get old, do you want to remember all those wonderful memories of your children growing up? Your wedding day? The day you told your spouse you loved them? What about that first kiss? The time when you knew that man standing next to you was to be your eternal partner? I think that's what scares me the most. Losing all of those precious memories. Not being able to remember my life. Take my foot, take one of my kidneys, just not my memories.
Yes, I know it's a bit melodramatic, but if you had a disease that you have to learn to control in order for these things to not happen, don't you think you would feel the same way?
My point in all of this is this, it's just one more reason for me to continue to change my life now. Change the way I eat, the way I am active, the way I teach my children to eat better. This gives the encouragement to keep things under control. It is just yet another reason why it is soooo important that I don't let this disease control me, but I control it.
And here's a little something to scare all of you into doing the same: This article states that diabetes will most likely be the number 1 cause of death by 2030! That's only 18 years away. I've already lived that long! Think about that! Take care of your body! If not for yourself, for those that love you. There's my two cents worth on the subject.
Recipes to come!
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